but they’re so damn entertaining (Part II)
So I decided to go to the bar up the block from my house to watch some basketball. When I entered the bar it was me and one older man that was not shy about showing the world his ass crack. [ By world I mean me and the lady bartender.]
I watched the first game in peace, sipping my Blue Moon. The college game started and I think I got about 2 minutes to myself before Mr. Wannabe Thug walked in.
As I stated previously, the bar was relatively empty. There was really no reason for this man to enter whilst speaking on the phone at that volume. His conversation was very clear, “nigga this,” “nigga that,” “i woke up next to some trick from the strip club,” “last night i was throwing hundreds in the air…”
bbm face
Now I hadn’t LOOKED at the man. I assumed he was some type of dark-skinnded color person to be throwing out a”niggas” like confetti. Of course I was wrong.
Out of all of the empty barstools in that place this man (of course) chose the one next to me.
He sat down and ordered henny (of course). Once he had his drink he picked up his phone and the confetti flew once again. He went in detail about the previous night at the strip club. He made it rain and woke up with some stranger, etc. etc. etc.
I ordered another drink just as he finished his convo. He asked me if I was drinking beer. I replied, “yes it appears that way as I am drinking from a blue moon beer mug –_- “Was that sarcasm?” he asked. “It seems that way I replied.”
Now I actually LOOKED at the man and noticed that he kind of resembled elmer fudd but with a thin moustache.
He asked me if I was watching the game. “yup.” I thought the fact that my body was pointed towards the game and I was in fact watching the game was a clear indication of my intentions for the evening.
He asked me who I was rooting for. I replied Notre Dame. He asked why and I told him that Kentucky had beaten my school in the Sweet Sixteen last year. Then he asked me to explain March Madness to him. FAIL.
Anyhoot what ensued was a barrage of questions from this man about me, what did I do, where I was from, blah blah blah. He told me about himself, he was 32 Italian, from the Bronx, and fresh out of prison. Apparently he had done 6 years for a crime he didn’t commit, was let go, and had a pending lawsuit against the city.
He saw the tattoo on my arm and asked me what it was. I told him Invictus as he read my arm. He asked me if I really knew what the paragraph that I had on my arm meant so I elaborated on what it meant to me. Then he asked me what I was currently reading and what I had recently finished. He read a lot in prison but didn’t quite get around to any of my books.
After all of that he tells me that I am intimidating. Apparently when he came in and saw me I scared him which is why he jumped on the phone. That was his comfort zone. He hadn’t been intimidated by a woman in a while so apparently this was a big deal. I wanted to mention that perhaps the reason was because he wasn’t around a lot of women in prison but I figured that might be going too far.
We continued to chat and said that he would love to lay in bed discussing current novels. Then he asked if I would be up for it. I politely declined and told him that he had already had enough fun the previous night. Now I don’t know in what crazy world would a woman say, “Yes recently freed felon, I would LOVE to go to your home (or invite you to mine) so that we can lay in bed and discuss current novels. This definitely sounds like a SMART decision considering you spent the previous evening at strip club buying bottles, throwing money in the air, and bedding whores.”
I closed my tab and took out money to pay and was told to put my money away because that was insulting. He told the bartender to put my tab on his. I said thank you and left.
All in all, I learned a lot that evening and had my drinks paid for. WIN
